Martha Wayles Skelton Jefferson: The Woman Who Might Have Been First Lady

Eventually Thomas Jefferson did find a woman to marry him, and we are meant to believe that the marriage of nearly eleven years was a happy one because of the many children born (six, though only two lived to adulthood) and Jefferson went into a period of deep grief after Martha died. But ultimately we know very little about their courtship or marriage because, like Martha Washington, Jefferson burned all their correspondence after the death of his spouse. 

Knowing Jefferson's comfort with patriarchy and misogyny, it is likely that if the marriage was happy, it is because Martha, a widow, had already grown accustomed to a woman's domesticated place as wife, meant to help maintain the household and manage the calm and self-control of her husband. We know that Martha was skilled at managing the Jefferson's farm but was unlikely to be publicly or politically active. Indeed, record books indicate that she could order linen or the slaughter of pigs with authority, but there exists only a single example of her taking on a public role – assisting, at the request of Martha Washington, in a fund-raising campaign to support the Continental Army. It seems unlikely, had she survived, that Martha Jefferson would have been as talented a hostess as Martha Washington or as opinionated and vocal a First Lady as Abigail Adams.*

*This insight came initially from just a reading of Kukla's chapter on Martha Wayles Skelton Jefferson. Supplemented by the primary source quotes from the Thomas Jefferson Foundation website, https://www.monticello.org/site/jefferson/martha-wayles-skelton-jefferson, it seems probable that, while perhaps not overly or overtly political, Mrs. Jefferson was a talented and comfortable entertainer. (She was a Southern lady, afterall.)

The Awkward Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson may have been the eloquent writer of our nation's Declaration of Independence, but he was terribly awkward when it came to women. Not only was he one of the last of his circle of friends to marry; once he had found a woman he was enamored with enough to want to marry, he spoke/wrote about the idea with his best male friends more than with the woman herself, Rebecca Burwell. When he finally brought up the idea to Rebecca Burwell, she turned him down, gave him another chance, turned him down again, and soon after married a mutual acquaintance.  

This rejection, according to Jon Kukla, became the impetus for debilitating headaches that Jefferson suffered from for most of his life in response to stress and for an intensified misogyny on his part. To me, Jefferson sounded like the worst of men today who feel entitled to a woman's affections or physicality and when turned down decide to hate on all women.   

But also, good for Rebecca Burwell for knowing what she wanted, or in this case what she didn't want, and holding out for a marriage of love. I wondered: how does one respond later in life when the man she refused ends up being President. Turns out for Burwell, it didn't much matter. According to Kukla, she was quite happy in her marriage and paid little regard to Jefferson later in life, even as her husband worked as a member of Jefferson's Council of State while Jefferson was governor of Virginia.   

As for Jefferson, he remained as awkward around women as ever, yet at the same time desperate for their attentions and love. So much so that he attempted to seduce a married woman. And not just any married woman, but the wife of his life-long friend while said friend was away on business. As far as the historical record knows, nothing ever came of Jefferson's attempts to seduce John Walker's wife except humiliation for all parties involved. Elizabeth Moore Walker rejected Jefferson's advances—advances that supposedly went on long after John Walker had returned, perhaps even after Jefferson himself was married—but when the scandalous accusations surfaced during Jefferson's presidency among others, the attempted seduction was the only accusation Jefferson admitted to be truth.   

Women made Jefferson nervous, especially single women. Jefferson was only ever comfortable around married women, them being "domesticated" and knowing "their place." It's a wonder he ever managed to find one to marry . . .  

Thomas Jefferson and Women: What I Know Going In

Thomas Jefferson's wife had died before he was elected the third President of the United States. I know nothing about their marriage but that they had a daughter. Sally Hemings is a controversial relation in Jefferson's story, but I gather that it is generally accepted by modern scholars that they did indeed have some sort of liaison. The nature of that liaison is more debatable, but it is possible that Jefferson sired more than one child with Hemmings. Finally, in deciding which book to read, I learned that Jefferson apparently was something of a misogynist, had an obsession with a married woman (before his own marriage), and could be domineering with his daughter.   

https://www.amazon.com/Mr-Jeffersons-Women-Jon-Kukla/dp/1400043247

I have chosen to learn about the women in Thomas Jefferson's life according to Mr. Jefferson's Women by Jon Kukla (mostly because it is relatively short and readily available at my public library). I will supplement Kukla's story with the Introduction, Conclusion, and relevant parts of Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemings: an American Controversy by Annette Gordon-Reed.*

* I dropped the ball on reading this one. I read most of the introductory parts, which sounded like the book would make a fascinatingly objective statement of the facts from a lawyer's perspective. But before I could get any further, my library copy, the only one in my library's system, was requested by another patron and I had to return said copy. Maybe someday I'll get around to reading more.  

Abigail Adams, Some Clarifications

This blog is not moving at an ideal pace. I apologize for that. In the interest of moving forward, this entry will include only very brief clarifications on my original thoughts on Abigail Adams, quick and undetailed, entirely from memory since I finished the biography more two weeks ago. That way I can feel comfortable moving ahead to Thomas Jefferson and the women in his life.    

I think the most important thing to clarify about Abigail Adams is that her ideas about both race and women were complicated and often contradictory. Adams may have included a condemnation of slavery in her "remember the ladies letter," but she didn't necessarily believe in equal ability or opportunity for blacks in America. And she was appalled by the idea of interracial relationships, most glaringly addressed in a letter she wrote after seeing a performance of Othello when in London (I'm almost certain it was London; definitely during her time living abroad with John). She may have believed that women had every right to personal property, in defiance of the law, and that women were at a disadvantage in a society that did not value education for them, but Adams also believed women should, above all else, abide by their duties happily. Adams was downright mean to her daughter-in-law when she complained about her unhappiness as a diplomatic wife abroad. Adams could also be terribly judgmental of other women; she was especially cruel in her judgments of foreign women.   

It is also important to clarify that Abigail Adams grew wealthy through speculation in government bonds. She relied on her male cousin to act as her representative when needed, but she claimed the wealth as her own and doled it out in her own personal will. It was a method to wealth that defied her husband's more conservative desire to invest in land, since she shrewdly knew that she would have no legal recourse in physical property until after John's death. Abigail Adams could, however, be blind to the ways in the risky practice of bond speculation was making her rich while bottoming out the investments and livelihoods of other Americans, including her own relations. Adams could be unnecessarily meddlesome in the lives of her relations, but even that trait could not prevent the failure and untimely death (due to alcoholism) of more than one male relative.   

But I'll soon get to learn more about one of her sons who achieved great success – John Quincy Adams, sixth U. S. President.   

Movie Interlude: _Jackie_

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackie_(2016_film)

In trying to keep up with all the potential "Oscar bait" at the box office this year, I went to see the first-lady-focused film Jackie just before New Years. Natalie Portman is stellar in the title role and deserves every awards she wins. The film is an engrossing mix of real footage, historical recreation, and imaginative license in exploring Jackie's grief in  the days just after the JFK assassination. Organized around a media interview set up to "manage" her husband's legacy in the wake of his assassination, the film jumps around non-linearly from the interview, to the shooting, to life in the White House, to funeral preparations, and other moments in the mind and memory of the grieving widow. The time-hopping combined with the atonal score places the viewer in the off-kilter mindset of a person coping with tragedy. Avoiding spoilers, I will not comment on any further specifics of the plot but will say Jackie does important work raising questions of how legacies are created, news reported, and history remembered. It's worth viewing if it happens to be playing in your area.   

Brief Thoughts on Abigail Adams, So Far

I have finished reading about half of Abigail Adams by Woody Holton. With the holiday season in full swing, I have not had a lot of time for reading, and even less for writing, but I thought I would stop and briefly record some themes and ideas that have stuck out to me, in no particular order, concerning Abigail's life through the Revolution.

A) I enjoyed learning that John and Abigail's affection for each other grew out of a mutual regard of the other as "saucy." Originally a reason for John's dislike of Abigail – she was younger and had a tendency to tease the socially awkward John – her cleverness and wit eventually won him over as did his her. Their love and marriage was based on a deep respect based around their affection for each other as friends, first and foremost. 

B) Education for women and the general lack thereof in colonial America was a frequent topic of discourse for Abigail. According to Holton, Abigail's lack of formal education was "her greatest regret in life" (7), which she increasingly attributed to sex discrimination in a society that simply did not value education for women. She partially countered this lack of formal education by writing letters among a group of friends who used their letters specifically for discussing literature, practicing writing, and teaching and learning from each other in addition to their social purposes. It is a practice that she continued through her life, including during her courtship with John. In fact, John's willingness to indulge her love of literature and desire to learn through books is what Holton attributes as the best explanation for her attraction to him. But despite his encouragement of her reading, John was not fully convinced by Abigail's arguments that formal education for women was best for a fledgling freedom movement or for women raising boys into the best possible men.  Nor did John allow his only daughter to continue in the broader education that Abigail had started her on the path toward in John's absence.  

C) Letters were a central learning and educating tool for Abigail Adams. Significantly, she used them to express her thoughts on women's place in society with a number of correspondents. As Holton argues well, these were not ideas she shared only privately with her husband. Indeed, she even published such thoughts in a Boston newspaper, albeit anonymously. Letters also became a significant device in Abigail's political education as she became something of a local reporter for John during his time away. Her letters carefully and descriptively informed him about military and political events in his home province while he was away in Philadelphia or Europe. Unfortunately, while Abigail was regular, indeed prolific, with her letter-writing, John was less-so. Abigail often complained that he did not write frequently enough, that his letters were short and too-business-like.    

D) Abigail Adams is perhaps best known for her 31 March 1776 letter to John Adams in which she entreated him to "Remember the Ladies" as he and his fellow congressional delegates made decisions concerning the future governance of the country they had just declared independent. To my surprise, this letter was a relatively modest plea for women to be protected under new laws from overbearing husbands and domestic violence. Indeed, overshadowed by future readers' attachment to Adams as "feminist" is the fact that John's response failed to concede male authority and that the same letter contained an equally impassioned denunciation of slavery. Moreover, Abigail would go on to make more radical complaints concerning women's disenfranchisement and exclusion from public office in a 17 June 1782 letter to her husband following victory at Yorktown.    

E) Despite her lack of formal education, Abigail Adams successfully took on many responsibilities outside the ideal realm of "women's work" during John's extended absences. This was the case especially when it came to the family economy. While John was away at congressional sessions in Philadelphia or for nearly three years attempting to negotiate alliances and peace with European powers, Abigail managed the farm, paid taxes, and made sure the family economy remained solvent. She did so largely through a business importing and selling European goods on consignment (social conventions of the time would not let a respectable middling lady act as solo merchant). Eventually her successful management of the family economy led her into property investments and a significant amount of property that she would come to claim as her own, laws of coverture be damned.